2013! Yowza!!
A quarter turn of the wheel since I started this new journey, and yet it feels like a lifetime.
I forewent my usual Yule celebrations this year, as 14 months ago, my then-boyfriend and I decided that Yule was the perfect weekend for a wedding. We have been planning ever since, and on December 22, we tied the knot. What a great expression that has maintained its presence in our common vernacular, but so clearly refers to the handfasting practice.
You might read this blog entry and feel like I'm just another bride, enthralled with the details of my own celebration. If this is something that doesn't interest you, I take no offense, and feel free to skip this entry. But my hope here is to focus on the Ritual itself, and the ways we personalized the experience, tying myriad traditions into a cohesive celebration. If that interests you, then I encourage you to keep reading.
So first, we picked a space with a rich history and natural energy. A historic, wood lodge one town north of us. It's a beautiful cabin, set in a clearing, in the woods, on the bank of a lake. A huge stone hearth creates a beautiful point of focus in the large main room.
We brought the natural themes into the decorations as much as possible, choosing evergreens throughout the space, using coffee beans and cranberries to fill the candle holders (here we used real candles, contained in glass vases, to ensure a warm and safe light), and the "guest book" was planks of sanded poplar, written on in pencil. Later we will burn in the writings, tracing the original handwriting, then oil the wood to bring out the natural colors, before hanging them in a place of prominence in our living room.
Space was tight--we were going to have difficulty squeezing in the chairs along with tables for food, drinks, plates, the cake, the guest book, and a table for gifts. You know how these things go--there's never enough room for it all. So I hesitated to create element altars, or even a center altar--space was that tight. We decided, then, to hang the altars on chains from the ceiling. Large wood beams stretch across the space. We bought lamp chains, but didn't want to risk damaging the ancient wood, so we looped ribbon in the corresponding color around and fastened the chains that way. We bought brightly colored and sequined fabric in yellow, red, blue and green, which we wove into the chain loops and carried the color from ceiling to floor.
To each chain, again using the corresponding colored ribbon, we tied four glass votive holders at intervals along the chain. We opted for electric candles since we didn't want to worry during the service and didn't want to burn down the historic building. But for a general ritual, we would go with real candles.
We spent the year collecting various objects to also tie to each chain. Stars in various media--stone, metal, wood, glass--in some cases painted to match the altar cloth. At the bottom of each chain hung the "anchor" symbol--a yellow glass bubble, a red votive holder (again, the electric candle), a bottle of water, a tiny green planter with a small plant growing in it. Other symbols were also hung from the chains--a yellow-tipped blown-glass fairy, a red blown-glass dragon, a mermaid, a gnome. More objects were also collected--coins on earth, a crystal snowflake on water, a prism/light catcher on air, a salamander on fire. Also, corresponding crystals and stones, each wrapped in wire, were attached to each chain. And finally, because the groom follows a different tradition, native symbols were also attached near the top of each chain, using the corresponding colors for his tradition--a stone eagle, a wooden bear, buffalo teeth, and a wolf totem.
The mantle of the stone hearth was decorated with evergreens and then interspersed with our power emblems--our god and goddess statues from our home altar, my husband's bear statue, his grandmother's necklace, a cat statue representing my father (his last gift to me before he died), the Ganesh a friend and coven member had given us, a stone wand another friend and coven member had given us, the Ace of Cups Tarot card, and a plate of corn and a plate of beef, exchanged as part of the native tradition at a wedding.
A quarter turn of the wheel since I started this new journey, and yet it feels like a lifetime.
I forewent my usual Yule celebrations this year, as 14 months ago, my then-boyfriend and I decided that Yule was the perfect weekend for a wedding. We have been planning ever since, and on December 22, we tied the knot. What a great expression that has maintained its presence in our common vernacular, but so clearly refers to the handfasting practice.
You might read this blog entry and feel like I'm just another bride, enthralled with the details of my own celebration. If this is something that doesn't interest you, I take no offense, and feel free to skip this entry. But my hope here is to focus on the Ritual itself, and the ways we personalized the experience, tying myriad traditions into a cohesive celebration. If that interests you, then I encourage you to keep reading.
So first, we picked a space with a rich history and natural energy. A historic, wood lodge one town north of us. It's a beautiful cabin, set in a clearing, in the woods, on the bank of a lake. A huge stone hearth creates a beautiful point of focus in the large main room.
We brought the natural themes into the decorations as much as possible, choosing evergreens throughout the space, using coffee beans and cranberries to fill the candle holders (here we used real candles, contained in glass vases, to ensure a warm and safe light), and the "guest book" was planks of sanded poplar, written on in pencil. Later we will burn in the writings, tracing the original handwriting, then oil the wood to bring out the natural colors, before hanging them in a place of prominence in our living room.
Space was tight--we were going to have difficulty squeezing in the chairs along with tables for food, drinks, plates, the cake, the guest book, and a table for gifts. You know how these things go--there's never enough room for it all. So I hesitated to create element altars, or even a center altar--space was that tight. We decided, then, to hang the altars on chains from the ceiling. Large wood beams stretch across the space. We bought lamp chains, but didn't want to risk damaging the ancient wood, so we looped ribbon in the corresponding color around and fastened the chains that way. We bought brightly colored and sequined fabric in yellow, red, blue and green, which we wove into the chain loops and carried the color from ceiling to floor.
To each chain, again using the corresponding colored ribbon, we tied four glass votive holders at intervals along the chain. We opted for electric candles since we didn't want to worry during the service and didn't want to burn down the historic building. But for a general ritual, we would go with real candles.
We spent the year collecting various objects to also tie to each chain. Stars in various media--stone, metal, wood, glass--in some cases painted to match the altar cloth. At the bottom of each chain hung the "anchor" symbol--a yellow glass bubble, a red votive holder (again, the electric candle), a bottle of water, a tiny green planter with a small plant growing in it. Other symbols were also hung from the chains--a yellow-tipped blown-glass fairy, a red blown-glass dragon, a mermaid, a gnome. More objects were also collected--coins on earth, a crystal snowflake on water, a prism/light catcher on air, a salamander on fire. Also, corresponding crystals and stones, each wrapped in wire, were attached to each chain. And finally, because the groom follows a different tradition, native symbols were also attached near the top of each chain, using the corresponding colors for his tradition--a stone eagle, a wooden bear, buffalo teeth, and a wolf totem.
The mantle of the stone hearth was decorated with evergreens and then interspersed with our power emblems--our god and goddess statues from our home altar, my husband's bear statue, his grandmother's necklace, a cat statue representing my father (his last gift to me before he died), the Ganesh a friend and coven member had given us, a stone wand another friend and coven member had given us, the Ace of Cups Tarot card, and a plate of corn and a plate of beef, exchanged as part of the native tradition at a wedding.
For
the ritual itself, we joined each other at the back of the space
and walked together up the aisle to join our minister at the hearth. The groom
carried his sacred staff, the bride, dressed in a shimmery dress of
blue, red and purple, overlaid with
black and silver lace, carried nothing, but held lightly to the groom's
arm.
The
service started with the invocation of the quarters and the
directions. The bride called each quarter, asking at each, "Please join us in
this rite, bless us in our marriage, and walk with us forever." The
groom called each direction, following his native tradition.
The minister said a few words of welcome, and then the groom's best friend read the first reading, The Spirit Prayer:
Oh, Great Spirit, whose voice we hear in the wind,
Whose breath gives life to all the world.
Hear us--we need your strength and wisdom.
Let us walk in beauty, and make our eyes ever behold the red and purple sunset.
Make our hands respect the things you have made and our ears sharp to hear your voice
Make us wise so that we may understand the things you have taught our people.
Help us to remain calm and strong in the face of all that comes towards us.
Let us learn the lessons you have hidden in every leaf & rock.
Help us seek pure thoughts & act with the intention of helping others.
Help us find compassion without empathy overwhelming us.
We seek strength, not to be greater than our brothers, but to fight our greatest enemy - ourselves.
Make us always ready to come to you with clean hands and straight eyes.
So when life fades, as the fading sunset, our spirits may come to you without shame.
Whose breath gives life to all the world.
Hear us--we need your strength and wisdom.
Let us walk in beauty, and make our eyes ever behold the red and purple sunset.
Make our hands respect the things you have made and our ears sharp to hear your voice
Make us wise so that we may understand the things you have taught our people.
Help us to remain calm and strong in the face of all that comes towards us.
Let us learn the lessons you have hidden in every leaf & rock.
Help us seek pure thoughts & act with the intention of helping others.
Help us find compassion without empathy overwhelming us.
We seek strength, not to be greater than our brothers, but to fight our greatest enemy - ourselves.
Make us always ready to come to you with clean hands and straight eyes.
So when life fades, as the fading sunset, our spirits may come to you without shame.
The
minister then spoke beautifully about the choice of the Solstice, the
darkest day, for our wedding, reminding us to look to the lessons of the
earth for rest and renewal, when in our darkest times, we need not
abandon our marriage,
but seek renewal. She also spoke to those gathered there, encouraging
them to support us in our vows, so that when we came seeking help, they
would also encourage us to turn to one another for healing and strength.
The second reading was the bride's best friend--the Buddhist blessing and healing chant:
Just as the soft rains fill the streams,
pour into the rivers and join together in the oceans,
so may the power of every moment of your goodness
flow forth to awaken and heal all beings,
Those here now, those gone before, those yet to come.
By the power of every moment of your goodness
May your heart's wishes be soon fulfilled
as completely shining as the bright full moon,
as magically as by a wish-fulfilling gem.
By the power of every moment of your goodness
May all dangers be averted and all disease be gone.
May no obstacle come across your way.
May you enjoy fulfillment and long life.
For all in whose heart dwells respect,
who follow the wisdom and compassion, of the Way,
May your life prosper in the four blessings
of old age, beauty, happiness and strength.
pour into the rivers and join together in the oceans,
so may the power of every moment of your goodness
flow forth to awaken and heal all beings,
Those here now, those gone before, those yet to come.
By the power of every moment of your goodness
May your heart's wishes be soon fulfilled
as completely shining as the bright full moon,
as magically as by a wish-fulfilling gem.
By the power of every moment of your goodness
May all dangers be averted and all disease be gone.
May no obstacle come across your way.
May you enjoy fulfillment and long life.
For all in whose heart dwells respect,
who follow the wisdom and compassion, of the Way,
May your life prosper in the four blessings
of old age, beauty, happiness and strength.
We then exchanged our vows, with the minister leading us. She first asked,
Do you, William, take Jennifer, in perfect love and perfect
trust, to be your lawfully wedded wife?
And then prompted us through the vows:
I promise to walk with you forever.
In fallow times and in fertile times,
In darkness and in light,
In storms and in calmness.
I will be faithful to you,
I will support you, and
I will celebrate you.
And then, as we exchanged rings:
My body to your body,
My heart to your heart,
My soul to your soul,
Blessed be.At the declaration of "I now pronounce you husband and wife," the gathered guests let out a loud and joyful noise, a thunderous applause and whooping and clamoring, to alert all the realms, from here to the heavens, that they supported our union and ours was to be a strong and joyous marriage.
We then ate and drank--beer, wine, and mead--to celebrate, with dancing, photographs, and all the fun of a joyous holiday party.
Blessed be.
Posts
You are not just another bride! You have every right to be happy with the ceremony and the rest of the trimmings. It was a beautiful day for you and Bill and all the rest of us honored with an invitation to share it.
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