Did it work?

Did the rededication work? Am I practicing again? It's ten days later, and so far, so good. You'll know it's working if there continue to be blog posts!


Immediately following the Ritual of Mabon, I felt more grounded and felt soothed by the Ritual itself. I also, for the first time in a long time, felt the faith in myself to carry through. The absence of Ritual had weighed on me for many months—stretching into years, really—and each time I had thought to recommit, I knew it would be in vain. This time, though, I felt the Ritual wash over me and a calm sense of steadiness settle in.

In the week that followed, that mindfulness and grounded feeling stayed with me, allowing me to get things done after work, maintain my energy throughout the day, and not feel spent by the stuff of life.

Then Sunday, a week after the Ritual, I made it to the meditation class I had been trying to get to for over a month. I didn't let anything get in the way of it. After all, this was my commitment to myself.

A beautiful Qigong meditation in a gorgeous setting provided me a perfect image of stillness amid chaos—exactly what I sought to get through my work in a mental health clinic, my life with a neurotic dog, and my relationships, which I find quite challenging. Now, as the day's challenges swirl about, I can find an inner stillness. It takes effort so far, but I trust it will get easier with more Sunday mornings in the sunshine.

We learned two very basic moving meditations—swimming dragon, and parting the clouds. I have made sure I did them each day, not letting any excuse deter me. I look forward to learning more.

In the check-in at the class, the instructor inquired about our experience with meditation. I had to acknowledge, "I have years of experience WANTING to meditate, but far less time ACTUALLY meditating." Mindfulness is one of the few things that does not benefit from thinking ABOUT doing it, but for which you must actually DO it. So that is part of my commitment to myself—that there will be daily meditation, even if only for a few minutes.

So yes, although we are less than two weeks in to this resolution, the energies of the Ritual are still with me and still ground me.

I look forward to continuing to share this rededication journey with you.