Water Dragon

It was New Year's Day (Nov. 1), and I decided to bring the animal totem cards I use to work.  My office mate, I thought, would enjoy pulling a card to get in touch with the energies of the new year.

As often happens while driving, various thoughts rose to my awareness.  On this day, though, they were painful memories of a very difficult time in my adolescence.  I was flooded with thoughts of anger, pain, hostility, ineffectiveness and incredibly difficult relationships.  I wondered where they were coming from--was Samhain somehow bringing these dark times to my foreground, and what was I meant to learn from them?

I got to work and was able to shake off most of the sadness and discomfort that had clung to me in the car.  I allowed myself the distractions of work and my office mate.  I left the animal totem cards for later in the day.

When I had a few quiet moments, I did indeed spread the cards out and draw.

Water Dragon.

I read from the book:  A water dragon totem brings memories and wishes, perhaps long hidden, to the surface.  By facing painful past experiences, we can achieve a sense of peace and balance in our lives.  This totem gives us courage and compassion in this challenge.

Samhain

As part of rediscovering my path this year, I didn't want to do a typical Samhain ritual.  I would typically get in touch with darker energies or ancestral energies, but having just gotten back in touch with any energies, this didn't seem the time to delve deeply into the dark.  Also, my ancestral energies are not really my go-to energies.  I am more of an elemental girl, and then animal totems.  I didn't know my family well, and what I did know, well, let's just say, we take the good with the bad when it comes to families.

So this Samhain, my goal was to get in touch with magical energies in general, and I invited friends to participate.

We set the Ritual space in my living room, in front of my hearth.  I cleared the hearth and mantle of their usual knickknacks, and thinking of a directional arrow to lead energies toward us, I set up a series of pillar candles atop large, standing candle holders.  I had enough of them to make a "V," with the tallest being a short pillar on each end of the mantle, and then five or six others on each side, ending with a white taper in a glass, lotus-shaped holder on the floor. 

We cast Circle and called Quarters, with our bodies forming a circle that was broken by the "V," with the white candle in the center of the circle.  Then we each lit a candle according to the energies we sought, starting with the tallest.  Feminine energies were represented by candles on the left and more masculine energies by candles on the right.  Those of you who Ritual often will not be surprised to learn it worked out just right, and I, as the hostess, lit the final candle to represent our larger intention and draw the energies forth.

We said a few words in closing, released the Quarters, and opened the Circle again.

Blessed Samhain.

Stag

I lay the cards out in front of me, aware that I had promised myself to pull a card every once in a while.  My renewed spiritual path is cooking along, with a change in my focus, more meditation, more chanting, more Ritual, more spiritual work.  I feel empowered to follow through.  It feels good.

So I lay the cards out in front of me, felt the tension building in my left hand, felt the heat from the cards rise up to the center of my palm.  Shifted a little to test the exact spot of the energy, felt the card under my ring finger, bent my wrist ever so slightly and slid the card--THE card--out from the pile.

Stag.

A quick review of Stag energies brought these words to mind--renewal, connectedness, psychic power, strength, guidance.  Sounds like a perfect connection to my current work.

As sometimes happens, I back-burnered the idea for the rest of the day.  Work, yadda yadda.

I was in my living room later that afternoon when I looked outside at the sound of children playing in the street.  Imagine my surprise to see four deer in my front yard!  This is unusual in our neighborhood--I live in the suburbs of a larger city, but within the city limits.  For a suburban subdivision, we have fairly generous woods weaving between the backyard fences of our homes, providing watershed areas as well as visual and sound barriers.  Deer often traverse the area through the woods, but these guys were in the front, on the street, at 3:00 in the afternoon.  Even more amazing, people were walking in the street behind them and children were playing, laughing, squealing.  The deer--three females and a youngish male--stood quietly, comfortably in my yard.  The females went to eating, but the male stopped, stood protectively, watching out over the scene.  Ready, I suppose, to sound the alarm.

And then he saw me watching through the window.  His eyes locked to mine.  He stood.  Not stressed, not particularly tense (for a deer, who are always tense), and stared.  Our eyes connected.  He stared.  I stared.  The sensation was of peace, connectedness, strength, and a total lack of anxiety.  The message to me was clear, "The path is yours for the walking, and it will lead only to beauty and peace."


(Although I'm posting this in November, it was written in the middle of October.)

Adder

How interesting that I pulled the Adder card this morning.

As part of the new and improved, Spiritual ME, it occurred to me last night, as I saw my animal oracle cards gathering dust on the shelf, that this would be a good exercise. A chance to hear the wisdom whispered through the ether, as well as refresh my old-lady brain on the animal totems.

As you may already know, the adder is an animal of transformation, healing, and rebirth. How perfectly fitting for my recent rededication. The snake has also come to me in the past, most notably in a meditation at a time when I was experiencing a major life change, accompanied by the powerful spirits of my ancestors who told me to relax and let go of my anger (at the time), because they would handle it. (They did, by the way, freeing me to move my life forward, only to learn much later that those who had caused the suffering that angered me had come face-to-face with the Threefold Law.)

At that time, Snake encircled me, swaddled me, held me safe while my Shaman guide ventured deeper in the realm and heard the message of my people.

How fitting that she might return now, keeping me grounded, secure, and fortunate as I venture forth into a new phase of the Craft. Much like my first initiation, I feel energized, hopeful, excited. But the first time, I could only guess at the feeling of empowerment that awaited me. Now I know it, and now I believe I will be taking the Craft even further, deeper, into more powerful expereinces, and the exitement is even greater since I have no doubts about the benefits of the practice.

There's no knowing when someone will happen upon this blog, or where they'll be in their journey. I am writing partly for myself, and partly with faith that those who could find inspiration in my experiences will be led here when the time comes.

And if that describes you, here's where I am in this rededication journey--a recap, if you will:

After many months of promising myself to commit to regular practice, I have actually done it, starting with the Mabon Ritual.

I am now attending a meditation class on Sundays in Qigong Meditation, or, as the teacher describes, Fierce Qigong. "Life comes at you hard and fast. You have to be ready for it."

I am meditating daily, even if only for a few minutes.

I will pull an Animal Oracle card periodically to check in with the energies at play and also to re-learn the correspondences. (I regularly check Beth Owls Daughter's Tarot site, which is why I have chosen animal oracle cards instead, since she does a wonderful job with the Tarot and any efforts on my part would be redundant (and lacking!). www.owlsdaughter.com)

I will continue to share my journey here. I hope, whenever you find it, it moves you.

Did it work?

Did the rededication work? Am I practicing again? It's ten days later, and so far, so good. You'll know it's working if there continue to be blog posts!


Immediately following the Ritual of Mabon, I felt more grounded and felt soothed by the Ritual itself. I also, for the first time in a long time, felt the faith in myself to carry through. The absence of Ritual had weighed on me for many months—stretching into years, really—and each time I had thought to recommit, I knew it would be in vain. This time, though, I felt the Ritual wash over me and a calm sense of steadiness settle in.

In the week that followed, that mindfulness and grounded feeling stayed with me, allowing me to get things done after work, maintain my energy throughout the day, and not feel spent by the stuff of life.

Then Sunday, a week after the Ritual, I made it to the meditation class I had been trying to get to for over a month. I didn't let anything get in the way of it. After all, this was my commitment to myself.

A beautiful Qigong meditation in a gorgeous setting provided me a perfect image of stillness amid chaos—exactly what I sought to get through my work in a mental health clinic, my life with a neurotic dog, and my relationships, which I find quite challenging. Now, as the day's challenges swirl about, I can find an inner stillness. It takes effort so far, but I trust it will get easier with more Sunday mornings in the sunshine.

We learned two very basic moving meditations—swimming dragon, and parting the clouds. I have made sure I did them each day, not letting any excuse deter me. I look forward to learning more.

In the check-in at the class, the instructor inquired about our experience with meditation. I had to acknowledge, "I have years of experience WANTING to meditate, but far less time ACTUALLY meditating." Mindfulness is one of the few things that does not benefit from thinking ABOUT doing it, but for which you must actually DO it. So that is part of my commitment to myself—that there will be daily meditation, even if only for a few minutes.

So yes, although we are less than two weeks in to this resolution, the energies of the Ritual are still with me and still ground me.

I look forward to continuing to share this rededication journey with you.

Mabon Rededication

We had been distracted by the Mundane. We had neglected our formal practice. One blessing of advanced Witchcraft is that it imbues your every moment, guides your thoughts and actions without your conscious awareness. It frees you to move energies and manifest your destiny without the need for formal actions. But it is also a trapping, since you might find yourself without the comforts of Ritual, without the soothing tones of Rite, without the distinct sensations that come from calling Quarters.

We had each sworn to ourselves we would not let another Sabbat go by without Ritual. We had each, separately, promised our own selves a rededication at Mabon. In talking over breakfast, two friends who chat daily, we discovered our parallel promises and agreed to practice together.

We set a simple altar outside, pulling together each of our usual altar markings, along with food, ale, pen and paper. We were under the trees, grass at our feet, the sounds of children playing next door, animals traipsing through the sacred space--all exactly as it was meant to be.

We chatted brieftly about our intention, set our own personal promises, grounded ourselves, visualized our sacred space. Then,

We call on the Watchtowers of the East, realm of Air, home to Faerie. Bring us your wisdom, your thoughtfulness, and as always, that touch of chaos to keep our lives interesting. We come to you as two Witches, distracted too long by the mundane, and we ask you to join us in our Rite, to walk with us always, as you have. We thank you for your presence in our lives, and we commit ourselves this day to return to our Practice, to refocus ourselves in your service.

We call on the Watchtowers of the South, realm of Fire, home to Salamander. Bring us your heat, your energy, your cleansing burn. We come to you as two Witches, distracted too long by the mundane, and we ask you to join us in our Rite, to walk with us always, as you have.  We thank you for your presence in our lives, and we commit ourselves this day to return to our Practice, to refocus ourselves in your service.

We call on the Watchtowers of the West, realm of Water, home to Mermaid. Bring us your warm safety of the womb, your healing, cleansing nurturance, and your life-giving waters. We come to you as two Witches, distracted too long by the mundane, and we ask you to join us in our Rite, to walk with us always, as you have. We thank you for your presence in our lives, and we commit ourselves this day to return to our Practice, to refocus ourselves in your service.

We call on the Watchtowers of the North, realm of Earth, home to Gnome. Bring us your strength, your safety, your fortune, your stability, and grant us what we need, even as you cannot grant us all that we want. We come to you as two Witches, distracted too long by the mundane, and we ask you to join us in our Rite, to walk with us always, as you have. We thank you for your presence in our lives, and we commit ourselves this day to return to our Practice, to refocus ourselves in your service.

We call to you, our Goddess, and invite you to join us in our Rite. We ask that you guide us with your Wisdom, and we thank you for your presence in our lives. We seek your gentle nurturing, your healing energies, your bountiful blessings, and offer our gratitude for our good fortune and the love we experience from our wonderful community. We come to you as two Witches, distracted too long by the mundane, and we ask you to join us in our Rite, to walk with us always, as you have. We thank you for your presence in our lives, and we commit ourselves this day to return to our Practice, to refocus ourselves in your service.

We call to you, our God, and invite you to join us in our Rite. We ask that you protect us with your strength, and we thank you for your presence in our lives. We seek your energy, your passion, and your Warrior path. We offer our gratitude for the strength we bring to our challenges and the assistance we get from our community. We come to you as two Witches, distracted too long by the mundane, and we ask you to join us in our Rite, to walk with us always, as you have. We thank you for your presence in our lives, and we commit ourselves this day to return to our Practice, to refocus ourselves in your service.

... Then we sat, with our pens and paper, and we each wrote a list of gratitude, recognizing and savoring our successes, the bounty of this harvest festival. We took the time to notice all that has gone well, all we can be grateful for as Witches, all we have been able to reap as a result of our own commitment, work, and the intention we bring to our lives. We then burned our pages in the cauldron to release our gratitude to the Universe.

We feasted and talked, then closed the circle, bidding hail and farewell to our Guides of the evening.

Starting Over

Well, hello!

Welcome to my small, dusty corner of the blogosphere. Sit, make yourself comfortable. I recommend a lovely cup of tea.

If you've been here before, you'll notice I've cleaned house a bit. Starting from scratch, really.

Hopefully we can make a nice visiting spot here for those of us a step (or several) past Witchcraft 101. I’m hoping to share thoughts, musings, and practical experiences of Wise Ones.

Come, stay a bit, and we'll walk this wonderful path together!